Conversation of the Night

I was rocking a very wide awake boy to bed tonight and we had two distinct, yet amazingly funny conversations. The first revolved around gorillas, which he still fears more than anything. He was talking about the time (back in the day) when he was a tiny baby and it went something like this:

Jack: "When I was a tiny baby, I slept in your bed. And I sat on a gorilla's shoulders and he took me to the park."*
Me: "That never happened, because there are no gorillas in Virginia."**
Jack: "Yeah, they're only at Target and Florida."*

The second conversation was my attempt to steer him away from all of the gorilla talk.

Me: "Did you know on Christmas Eve we put out cookies and milk for Santa so he can eat them when he brings us presents?"
Jack: "Yeah, he eats the cookies and I say (insert exaggerated intake of air, a la Excited Gasp) 'Oh, a red light saber and Darth Vader costume!'"
Me: (insert laughter because we so bought him those things already)

He has no doubt that he's getting those two items because he has asked for them each and every time we've asked what he wanted for Christmas for the past few weeks. Thankfully, Ebay hooked me up with a Darth Vader costume. If he had mentioned this oh, say, around November 1, that would have been even sweeter. Alas, we have the costume.

*Target has a DVD movie called "Baby's Day Out" with a baby on the shoulders of a gorilla, which Jack and I concluded meant the gorilla was taking the baby to the park.
**I tell Jack there are no gorillas in Virginia so the kid can sleep at night. Please don't tell him otherwise. Repeat after me: "There are no gorillas in Virginia."

Goodnight