That Commercial Was an Understatement

Last night I went to see our friends Clay and Heather in the hospital. On Wednesday their son, Matthew, was born at a healthy 7lbs 8oz. He has a gorgeous head of blond hair (the perfect kind- not too long, not too short), typical baby blue eyes, a nose that no one can place (unlike Jack's, which is decidedly his father's fault), and all of the other trappings of a new baby.

Boy, did Heather look tired. I really ached for her. She hadn't been allowed to shower until today (and those mothers reading this blog can attest to how insanely important that becomes after giving birth), she was wearing her glasses and hospital garb, and I was taken back to that time in the hospital where they deemed that Kyle and I were qualified enough to take Jack home (we even went over a checklist!). We've done alright thus far, but I always say to people that are contemplating children that life changes in an immeasurable way-- both good and bad-- when you have a child. Not the "A baby changes everything" sort of way in Johnson & Johnson commercials that make new mothers weepy, but in an "every fiber of your being" way. Again, both good and bad.

Kyle and I said to each other that the hardest part of their life starts today when they leave the hospital. The late nights, the breastfeeding woes, the worries that he's sick/too skinny/somehow autistic/going to be killed in his sleep by the cats, and the realization that he can't do anything without their help. That lasted for a long time with Jack. He was late to sitting and crawling and was insistent that he be held at all times. He tolerated the swing and bouncy (but not for long), scoffed at sleeping for more than an hour and a half at a stretch for the first 10 weeks of life, refused (and I do mean refused) to nurse, spit up a good bit, and was generally a blob for some time. When they don't smile back at you during your 4th time being awoken from slumber in one night it does become, well, a little depressing.

Eventually that starts to change and you get the coos and the smiles and the sitting up, crawling, eating "real" food, walking, talking, etc. But, even as they start to come to terms with your world and can, say, take their own shoes off, or brush their teeth, they really still have a grasp on your life and heart that is immeasurable.

As a mother, I've learned about the woes and sorrows that come with parenting. But, I've also learned things that I wouldn't have before. Little things, big things, sweet things, crazy things- but it's all been part of the package. I now know that Gymboree sells the coolest and longest-lasting bubbles on the planet. I know now what it feels like to be whacked in the forehead with any number of hard objects. I now know that kids don't learn to blow their nose very early and would really prefer if you left their boogers alone, thankyouverymuch. I now know that everything- everything- is exciting to someone who is seeing it for the first time, and sometimes for the hundredth time. Car! Mountain! Target! Lion! I know now that a two-year-old's capacity for sitting in a restaurant is much less than mine and that Nope, broccoli is not a desired part of this meal. Peas and corn will do just fine. I know now that the cat's didn't (and couldn't have) suffocated him in his sleep and that we wasted precious time counting ounces and worrying about his weight because he is who is is, whether chunky or thin. I know that kids love seeing the moon, talking about the moon, and dreaming about the moon. I know that a two-year-old's capacity for reading reading and enjoying the same story about Thomas over and over is much bigger than mine. I know that A says "Ah," B says "Beh," and T says "Feh" and that you spell Jack "J-A-C-Car." I know that sometimes people wake up cranky and that they'll stop being cranky when they darn well feel like it. I know that "I girl," "Daddy boy," and "Jack boy," and that some people are just different than others and sometimes that's meaningful and sometimes it's not.

Nobody gets it right out of the gate. This has been a two year learning process for us and while we do pity the weeks and months that lie ahead for Clay and Heather, we know that the best is yet to come and they'll have a wealth of knowledge all their own to share one day. Even though I caution potential parents about the struggles of having a child (often using the phrases "Don't do it!" or "Get a dog!" which I hear isn't very nice to say), I do think it's so worth it.

That being said- No, grandma, we're not doing it again, no matter how cool Jack is.